The Benefits of an Unorthodox Childhood

Growing up, I had what some might term an “improper” childhood.  I’d seen my first Cheech and Chong movie before the age of 10, and the following year, my dad took my brother and I (and my brother’s friend) all to the drive-in to see History of the World, Part 1. When my mom found out I’d started drinking at 14, she offered to buy for me so I could find my limit in a safe environment.  She did that because she’d rather I found it out at home, instead of out and about with the possibility of not making it home at all.  I even had my first contact buzz by the age of 16.

Also throughout my childhood, sex was never a taboo.  My brother or I could ask questions from either Mom or Dad and they would answer us honestly.  I even heard of a few of my parents’ sexual exploits while they were together, and let’s just say that I’ll never be able to use the dining room table I inherited without knowing exactly why it’s so wobbly.

So, some people might think that those events are things children shouldn’t experience, but I personally feel it’s made me a more well-rounded individual.  That’s not to say that I don’t have emotional scars from some other things that I didn’t mention, but overall, I think I’m a fairly stable person, thank you very much.  And I think I’m better able to handle some of the things that most other people my age can’t handle.

For example.  I know that my parents had sex.

Now, you might think “DUH!”, but honestly, just about everyone else that I’ve talked to about this has some sort of epileptic convulsion when this topic comes up in conversation.  They get weirded out at the very thought of their own parents doing the horizontal mambo.  I’ve always found this to be a very weird reaction, because their parents had to have sex at least ONCE in order for the person I’m talking to to be around for said conversation!  Besides, sex is a normal, biological function.  It’s not just reserved for the young and hip.  And I certainly hope that I’ll be able to have it well into my 80s, thank you very much.

Another good thing that came from my unorthodox childhood is that I stopped drinking at the age of 17.  Yes, I started out early, but the fact that my mother didn’t scold me, or forbid me to drink meant that I was allowed to discover calmly whether I liked it or not, I didn’t have to rebel.  And I found out that I definitely didn’t like it one fateful night after I’d had a LOT of alcohol, didn’t feel any of it go down, apparently had a blackout (according to Mom and other friends who were there at the time), and didn’t pay for it in ANY way, shape or form the next day.  No hangover, no headache, nothing.  So, without going through too many drunken binges, I was able to find out that drinking just isn’t my thing.  And I’m here to tell you that I don’t miss it, at all.

I also learned that I don’t see the point in smoking pot (or taking any kind of drugs, for that matter).  Whenever I would get contact buzzes, all that happened was that I got loopy enough to laugh my ass off.  Well, that happens if I just stay up for more than 24 hours anyway, so I never saw the point of spending a lot of my money on some substance, when I could do it myself for free.

And, come on, History of the World, Part 1 is a HILARIOUS movie.  Like Bugs Bunny cartoons, I laughed out loud at the obvious, raunchy jokes as a child, and now get to enjoy the just-as-funny, subtle humor laced throughout the film.

Say what you will about my childhood, I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything.  I learned a lot back then; about myself and the things I want/don’t want to do in life.

And it doesn’t wig me out to think about parental figures fornicating.  😉

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