Ridiculously Newsworthy

Craig and I were recently having breakfast at a local diner.  The diner had two TVs up and tuned to Good Morning America.  Neither of us watches the news, so we ignored it as much as possible, but there were a couple of items that came up and sadly caught our attention.  I say “sadly” because these two items were SO NOT newsworthy.

The first one was a bit that discussed a fly that was bugging (all pun intended) President Obama in a recent speech.  I remembered seeing this blip on Yahoo the day before and rolling my eyes even then.  Really?  Our country’s financial and employment sections are in the crapper as we speak, and the thing news makers decide to focus on is a fly that was looking for its 15 minutes of fame?!?!

The second quip was even worse.  After the commercial break, George Stephanopoulos gave an intro for a story on the possible shortage of chicken wings.  GASP!  It was just two short weeks before the Super Bowl and there was a possibility that people wouldn’t be able to get their wings for the game?!?!  The HORROR!

I really wanted to weep for humanity at that point.  Yes, I realize that GMA isn’t CNN, but was there honestly NOTHING else of note for them to discuss that morning?  And George?  He used to be a political advisor for the President of the United States, for crying out loud!  This is what he’s reduced to?  Granted, he did it with much dignity and aplomb, but I couldn’t help but shake my head and say “George, George, George” in sorrow over this.

If our collective energy is being spent focusing on these kinds of stories now, I’ve got some doozies for you:

1)  There’s a massive pimple on my neck.  At first it was just a small, slightly red bump, but two days later, it’s become the Mt. Vesuvius of acne!  It’s not even hidden by my hair, so I have to endure all the stares and whispers of people who see it.  No amount of rubbing alcohol has dried this sucker up, and I fear it will leave a huge scab when it does finally blow.  And what if I get called into a meeting or something?  Maybe I should just call in sick until it goes away.

2)  I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately.  Many doctors say that it’s best to get a full eight hours of sleep, but lately Bejeweled and Angry Birds have been far too compelling.  I’ll often stay up a full hour past my bedtime because I just can’t stop playing them.  I’m considering going to the doctor to see if they can help find a cure for me.  Maybe I need to join a 12-step program that will help break me of my addiction.  If you know of one, please pass the information along.

3)  Our kitty, Jasmyn, is clawing up our couch.  We had a kitty tower for her, but it recently got infested with fleas.  Regardless of how much we’ve sprayed or flea-bombed the apartment, or bathed Jasmyn, the tower was a lost cause.  We decided to toss it out and haven’t been able to afford a replacement yet.  We don’t even want to replace it while she still has fleas (I’m combing at least 5 or 6 out of her fur every day!), and since she has nothing else to climb, she’s taken to climbing up our legs and the arms of our couch.  It might become so bad that we’ll have to reupholster it eventually.

4)  We have less than half a tank of gas in our car.  This one worries me the most.  I would hate for us to be driving along and suddenly run out of gas.  What if we get stranded somewhere on our 10 square-mile island?  And what if neither of our cell phones are charged properly?  We might have to walk to the nearest bus stop and hope that we have the two dollars to catch the bus.  If we don’t, we might have to walk two miles to our home.  Yes, we could buy more gas I suppose, but what if our normal gas station is full of cars?  What will we do then?

I’m sure you have some similarly “newsworthy” stories of your own.  Please feel free to post them in the Comments section, so we can all lament with you over the state of your world.

And p.s. be sure to stock up on chicken wings before Sunday!  😉

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Craig
    Feb 01, 2013 @ 08:31:03

    You know… I’ve been trying to find a job since mid-December with no luck. I am also beginning court proceedings to gain custody of my daughter. But what is really worrying me the most is that my wi-fi card on my laptop keeps losing its connection! I mean, really!! I have to go to the control panel and DISABLE it, then reenable it. Then it works fine again. I have to do this 2, maybe 3 times a day. SO inconvenient. How am I supposed to get any work done. How can anyone cope with this kind of distraction. I think I may have to sue the wi-fi manufacturer, or request a global recall. Someone call Fox news!!!

    Reply

    • Alyx Morgan
      Feb 01, 2013 @ 09:24:05

      I feel your pain, Craig. Honestly, how ARE you supposed to get any work done with a faulty wi-fi card? It sounds like you’re being relegated to living in the dark ages, before Man had the ability to connect to the internet from anywhere. How can they expect you to survive like that? 😉

      Thanks for stopping by.

      Reply

  2. Bette Golden Lamb
    Feb 01, 2013 @ 09:53:39

    Really great post, Alyx.
    Best,
    Bette

    Reply

  3. Terry Shames
    Feb 01, 2013 @ 15:06:34

    Alyx, I always love your posts! You make me laugh, even though what you are saying here is actually serious. What goes on with the news media–so many real things to talk about and they natter on about nothing!

    Reply

    • Alyx Morgan
      Feb 01, 2013 @ 15:10:54

      Thanks, Terry, that’s so nice to hear. 🙂 Yes, this is a serious & sad topic, & on another day the blog might’ve had a more negative bent to it. But for some reason, all I saw was the absurdity of the situation & just had to make fun of it.

      Thanks for stopping by today.

      Reply

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