The Whole Picture

They say there are two sides to every story.  Actually, the group Extreme seems to think there are 3 Sides to Every Story; Yours, Mine and the Truth.  Personally I feel that, depending on how many people are involved in any given situation, there could be a plethora of “sides”.  It’s part of why I feel a story can never truly be “over”, simply because there are so many interpretations and memories to hear and sift through.

I bring this up because I learned a lot about Craig and his family when I was down in LA recently.  Craig’s older sister, Jenny, has graciously offered to make my wedding dress, so I went down there to shop in the fabulous garment district for the material (I also walked away from there with 28 pounds of fabric for other projects, but that’s a story for another time).  Anyway, Craig’s mom was also there visiting, and on the days that Jenny had to go to work, my soon to be mom-in-law and I did a lot of talking.  It was AWESOME!

We sat for hours talking about our respective lives.  We talked about Craig, and she gave me some missing pieces to his puzzle.  She also gave me some insight into Craig’s dad, Ken, who passed away a couple years ago.  I’ll never get to know Ken through his own words, so it was good for me to hear about him from someone other than Craig.  I feel it gives me a more well-rounded view of the man.

We discussed thoughts, emotions, ideas and any number of other topics that can come up during an hours-long conversation with someone who’s company you truly enjoy.  While I was growing up, she was always my friend’s mom.  Now, I was able to get to know her as a woman, as a future in-law, and as a person, which was great.

Sometimes when Craig and I discuss events in our collective past, there have even been times one of us brings up memories the other had forgotten.  Sometimes one of our memory’s will help trigger the others’, while at other times, it’s almost like the other person was never even there.  Which just goes to show that an event can be remembered any number of ways.  Sometimes it bothers me that I don’t have the same memory of something that he does, but that’s part of being human, I guess.  We don’t always know what will seem important to another at the time . . . or even what will seem important to us on later reflection.

A part of me would love to be able to rewind my life and watch it, like watching a DVD.  I wouldn’t necessarily want to rewatch everything, but certain key moments that mean something.  Like any of the times that Craig and I hung out together in our youth.  It would be interesting to watch those interactions now, especially knowing what we’ve come to mean to each other, it could put a whole new spin on each meeting.  Not that I wish anything had happened differently between us back then, but it’d be fun to see the nuances I may have missed the first time around.

But anyway, back to the whole picture.  I know that my interest in people’s lives can be construed as gossip – and probably in the hands of someone with more of an agenda, it is – but for me, it’s really nothing more than a fascination into people, and a thirst to understand them.  I don’t ever plan to use any information against them . . . that’s just not my style.  I simply love to talk to people.  To hear what makes them tick, why they have certain likes and dislikes, or why they have whatever views they have.  Initial perceptions are shattered that way (almost always for the better), and I find that I have much in common with my fellow humans.  It’s even one of the lessons in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People:

Seek First to Understand

In order to have the complete picture of people and events, it’s best to first understand them.  Once you truly understand a person, from all angles, there’s less judgement and more acceptance.  Which can only be a good thing, in my opinion.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Cindy Sample
    Nov 04, 2011 @ 10:56:24

    Hi Alyx I always enjoy your contemplative posts. I’m the least observant writer when it comes to my surroundings with the exception of watching people. I love meeting people and learning what makes the tick. Observing their responses and interactions with others. We frequently look at life from different perspectives and that makes people and life even more fascinating.

    Reply

    • Alyx Morgan
      Nov 04, 2011 @ 12:21:55

      I agree on how fascinating the differing perspectives can be, Cindy. That’s why I try to keep an open mind about people. Doesn’t always work when someone’s being what I would term a jerk (or worse), but even in those times, if I’m able to learn something more about them, it helps to humanize them for me, so I stop feeling the need to call them a random name.

      Thank you for stopping by, Cindy. It’s nice to see you on here. 🙂

      Reply

  2. Dana Fredsti
    Nov 04, 2011 @ 12:03:28

    It’s funny – my sister and I remember completely different parts of shared events in our past. I like your puzzle analogy!

    Reply

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