Pet Peeves

When I was younger, I used to roll my eyes at people who used phrases like “in my day”, or “I remember when [blank] only cost [blank].”, or would complain about the “young whippersnappers” with their “new-fangled” things, be it music, clothes, hairstyles, etc.

However, now I’m noticing that not only do I comment on the “kids today, and the way they wear (or don’t wear) their pants”, I’ve even started using the verbiage surrounding what items used to cost when I was younger.

Is this part of the aging process that I need to own up to and accept?

I know that I can be a cantankerous “old” lady from time to time.  I realized this back in my thirties.  One of my biggest pet peeves, however, has nothing to do with being crotchety, but with common courtesies and manners.  Things like saying “Please”, “Thank You”, or “Excuse Me” were instilled in me at a very young age, and it has always bothered me when I’m confronted with people who don’t take mere nanoseconds to display those simple pleasantries.

I was at a fast food restaurant the other day, where the line was out the door.  My turn came to be the person holding the door, and when people exited the establishment, they had to walk right past me.  On this particular day, there were a few people who thanked me for holding the door open, or said “excuse me”, but there were even more of them who said nothing; simply walked by me, expecting me to move or automatically know they wanted out.  The fact that I was blocking the door, and that they’d have to go out that way wasn’t the point . . . it was that they never even paid me the common courtesy of acknowledging my presence, which seems very rude to me.

My mom has told me a story of how, at the age of five – when shopping at a store with her one day – someone walked in front of us at the check out line.  When this person cut us off, I looked at them and said “Excuse you!”  Yes, I was ballsy from a very young age, and I still call people out like that to this day.

When I’m feeling more gracious about that sort of rudeness, I can pass it off as maybe they are focused on so many other things, and they didn’t mean to be impolite.  Or maybe they’re too afraid of confronting another person, so they don’t say anything for fear they might get flak.  In those moments, I’m able to realize that it’s nothing personal, and can leave it with them.

At other times however, when I’m feeling put upon, or less than gracious, I get very angry and upset, and will throw out a “you’re welcome”, or “excuse you” to them.  Many times people just ignore me, but there have been a few times where a verbal altercation ensued.  While my heart races, I’m not one to back down from things like that, so I make sure to hold my own.  That’s where my crusty crone lets loose.

Every now and then I feel the need to let my cranky side fly, and let people know when they’re being rude.  What I find funny (though it’s angering at the time) is that, when you point out how rude someone has been, they decide to call you rude.  For what?  For calling you out on your rudeness?  By all means, pardon me.  😉  I’ve also been told to mind my business at those times.  Well, if they’re cutting in front of me . . . that is my business.  I understand that nobody likes to have their shortcomings mentioned, but come on . . .

Now, I don’t want to be someone who thinks the world is going downhill, and by and large I don’t think that.  For the most part, I know these are singular incidents, and realize that the “whole world” shouldn’t be judged by a handful of encounters.  I guess I just felt the need to rant about it today.

Thank you for listening to the rant.  Feel free to join in with a rant or two of your own.

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dana Fredsti
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 10:16:16

    Ah me, yes, welcome to an inevitable side-effect of aging… I have learned to embrace my inner (and occasional outer) curmudgeon… and I have issues with the same lack of courtesies (and respond the same way) that you do!

    Reply

    • Alyx Morgan
      Jul 29, 2011 @ 10:19:37

      LOL Of course you respond in the same way, Dana. I think you’ve mentioned a time or two how we were separated at birth. 😉

      Glad to have you back from Comic Con!

      Reply

  2. Craig
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 10:26:55

    You betcha. I was also raised with the common courtesies taught me. And I see on an almost daily basis people not being courteous. I relate it to the litigious society we live in, that people feel they can’t correct others, or they will get sued for something. The same way schools are hamstrung by laws and policies so that they can’t (heaven forbid) say anything negative at all to a student. And calling attention to a student not being courteous would be considered negative why? This goes as far as parents being afraid to discipline their kids (I’m not talking beatings here). Because the merest hint of rumor or unsubstantiated accusation of negativity or verbal or physical abuse and Social Services are threatened, if not called. This really hampers what could be a simple learning experience to teach manners and consideration of others.
    Maybe what needs to be taught before we can address manners, is ‘how to take criticism’. That way people can help each other learn, and we won’t be so afraid of being called out on our mistakes like we’re being accused of a crime.

    Reply

    • Alyx Morgan
      Jul 29, 2011 @ 10:59:57

      That’s a tall order, dear…trying to teach how to take criticism. But I agree, it’s something that’s in dire need in our society lately.

      Thanks for stopping by. 😉

      Reply

  3. Maddy
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 11:12:54

    I think I’ve always been old and crotchety, it’s one of my finer qualities. However, now that I’m old in birthdays too, as well as having young kids, I find it a real battlefield. Without going into to much detail, I found that since my own children have speech issues, when they did eventually speak, it was even more important for them to try and be polite so that someone might just listen to them – that was a long time ago though. Now I find that their uber politeness, and formal if not stiff, manner of speech makes them stick out even more. So instead we’re working on a more friendly approach rather than sounding like Little Lord Fauntleroy’s.

    For me, the bottom line, whoever you are, is the kindness and consideration we show to other people, and if that’s being old, then I’m happy to be a senior.

    Reply

    • Alyx Morgan
      Jul 29, 2011 @ 11:27:59

      LOL I love the image of Little Lord Fauntleroy’s, Maddy! But yes, I can see how that would come across as very stiff. And I agree that it’s all about the kindness/consideration we show others (which I suppose could be turned right back to me when I pipe up with my “you’re welcome’s”).

      I’m okay with some of the aspects of growing older, so it’s just time for me to learn to accept some of the others, I guess.

      Thanks for posting today! 🙂

      Reply

  4. Dolly Chamberlin
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 16:07:23

    lol I remember the incident you referred to very well, & still laugh when the memory returns. I also believe little ones learn more from what they see, than what they hear, so when they are being instructed to say please & thank you, etc . . . if they are not seeing it be reiterated by the ones teaching, it’s less apt to stick. I’m glad you are now seeing some of the aging process for yourself. This is one of those things I mentioned you may not understand until you experience it first hand. LOVES ;}

    Reply

  5. Alyx Morgan
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 16:37:05

    You’re 100% right, mom. The ones teaching the manners need to back it up in order for the kids to really get the benefits of it.

    And yes . . . the aging process is catching up with me. *grumblegrumble* 😉

    Reply

  6. Kathy Downs
    Jul 30, 2011 @ 13:34:59

    Well, I’m with you Alyx. Common courtesies make the daily challenges easier to bear and I think they provide links between strangers. The reason I restrain my inner curmudgeon (lovely description) these days is the large number of people carrying weapons without fear to use them. I’d prefer to keep my mouth shut and fume than to recover in the hospital because some rude person was offended that I called him on it. Thank you, Alyx, for the opportunity to share my thoughts.

    Reply

    • Alyx Morgan
      Jul 30, 2011 @ 23:17:42

      Having had someone throw her Starbuck Latte at my rolled-up window in a fit of road rage, I can totally understand the fear & desire to keep it inside. However, the interesting thing is it seems most people are just as afraid of that kind of stuff. While I talked about the verbal confrontations that I’ve experienced, honestly, that happens 2 out of 10 times, maybe.

      I’m very glad you came to share your thoughts, Kathy. You’re more than welcome. 🙂

      Reply

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