Time

I’ve been sitting here, dreading the many things on my plate – some of which have been sitting stagnant for weeks now – when this Rolling Stones lyric came into my head:

“Time is on my side…yes it is”

I scoffed, thought “yeah, right”, and went searching for another quote that seemed more on par with my whole “I don’t have enough of it” train of thought.  Instead, I found this gem:

Who forces time is pushed back by time;
who yields to time finds time on his side.
~The Talmud

I barely glanced at this at first, ready to scoff again, but upon a second and third read I finally found the lesson:  I’m pushing too hard to get too many things done, and thinking that my own schedule is the correct one.

This is something I thought I’d learned many years ago, when my life failed to fall into the nice little itinerary I’d concocted as a teenager.  Nothing I had planned happened at the time I thought it would, and somewhere along the way I stopped saying “…by the time I’m [enter age here], I’ll have…”  I still made plans, but I became content and happy to simply live and let the Universe show me the correct chronology for my life.  Some goals came true sooner than anticipated, many later, and others I have accepted will never happen in this lifetime.

A long-time admirer of the music and words of Billy Joel, his song Vienna touches on this very theme.  If you don’t know the song – and you’re someone who looks for inner truth – I highly recommend you check it out (Summer, Highland Falls is another great one too, but that’s for another blog).  The refrain “Vienna waits for you” is wonderful in that it helps me see that Vienna (which I believe is a euphemism for success/happiness/etc) is already mine.  It’s just waiting out there for me, so there’s no need to push or claw my way to it.

However, the most poignant phrase in the song is “…you can’t be everything you want to be before your time…” This was the crux of my problem.  In making statements like “[event] will happen to me by the time I’m [age]”, I was putting unnecessary pressure on myself to achieve something.  It was an unhealthy exercise beacuse I may not have been emotionally ready to deal with the completion of my plans, not to mention setting me up for disappointment if I didn’t follow the schedule.

I truly believe that, and thought I’d given up trying to make life go according to my plans, so why had I suddenly put this pressure back on myself?  Why had I stopped trusting that the Universe knew the proper evolution of things?

It took me several moments of inner reflection to come up with the answer: I can feel my dreams within my grasp and am afraid of them slipping out of it.

I am currently working on three separate career-paths, eagerly anticipating the day when any or all of them will be able to sustain me financially so I can stop working for “the man” and begin to be my own boss.  However, because I’ve got three irons in the fire at once, I need to accept that it will take longer for each of them to come to fruition, since my time won’t be focused solely on one.  It’s a juggling act requiring the discipline I’ve blogged about previously, but I forgot to include that it will also require patience on my part.  I need to remember that each step on this journey brings me closer to my goals.  Even if it seems like I only move one step forward a week or month, it’s still one step closer than I was last week or last month.

All it takes is trusting that time is on my side, and that Vienna waits for me.

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8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Maddy
    Oct 15, 2010 @ 10:27:52

    For me it’s largely a question of balance. It’s great to have high expectations of ourselves, and push for them, but when there’s ‘everything else’ as well, then I think it’s more a question of pacing ourselves. So whilst most people seem to have a five year plan from here to there, mine’s more of a ten year plan which means some pressure but not as overwhelming.

    Reply

  2. Janet Ann Collins
    Oct 15, 2010 @ 18:53:44

    It helps me to remember that eternity is completely outside the dimension of time and the things I accomplish, this year, or even this lifetime aren’t what really matters.

    Reply

  3. Dana
    Oct 15, 2010 @ 19:18:14

    Learning to live in ‘taffy time’ really does help one deal with life in a much calmer and healthier way, and to let things happen in their own time rather than trying to force them… I have to remind myself of this periodically so thank you for the reminder!

    Reply

  4. Diane Vallere
    Oct 16, 2010 @ 19:57:44

    Alyx,

    You very succintly said what I whined to my coworkers this morning: “I don’t have time for XXX! I need 30 hours in a day!” But, you also helped me realize why I get frustrated by the lack of time intended to propel me closer to achieving the future I want. Thanks for that dose of perspective!

    Reply

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